painful alienation

you know that question that is included on oh so many personality quizzes that goes, "when you walk into a room you a.) meet and greet everyone you see, b.) shrink to the back of the room and wait for "them" to come to you?  well for the most  part, i am a shrinker.  i am only a meeter/greeter now days because i know there are oh so many others like me that are shrinkers and i guess i am trying to alleviate their pain.  i know that pain and how disabling it can be.

i remember literally hanging on to my mother's skirt tale, squeezing behind her as tight as i could in order not to be seen by the person(s) she was talking to.  and Lord forbid if that person would lean around her to pursue a conversation with me, whether it was because they thought i was cute or just plain felt sorry for me because i was a dork.  oh and if you thought i was bad, oh, oh, oh, my middle brother was 10 times worse.

shyness.  how many years did it plague me?  you?  are you shy?  have you grown out of it?  just thinking about the ailment gives me a queasy feeling in my gut.  but the reason i am thinking about it is that i have been watching the kids go into to the meeting hall each morning ~ they are sooooo excited to be there.  they just run in and hook up with their new buds and whiz through the rest of  the day.  i do not recall my kids hiding behind my skirt-tail.  nor do i see kids 'today' hanging on their mom's.  could it be this "self esteem training" that we have been indoctrinated with the last 30 years has changed our approach?  could it be we, as a social group, have in fact changed and actually do a better job of accepting others, others feel more accepted?  hard to believe that but i think it just might be the case.  a change for the good, i might add.

just another point to ponder.  have a good day.

g